Forgiveness is an integral part of our lives. Throughout just one day, there are countless times we must forgive others, and even ourselves. Someone may cut you off on the road. If you don’t forgive them relatively quickly, it can throw off your day. A friend may make a comment to you that hurt you. If you don’t forgive them quickly, it can throw off your day. You may make a mistake that you shouldn’t have made. If you don’t forgive yourself quickly, it can throw off your day. Whatever the scenario, forgiveness isn’t so much about others; forgiveness is about ourselves.
Forgiveness Is About Ourselves
The phrase “forgive and forget” is often overused. People who have hurt you may tell you to forgive and forget, but no one can really forget when someone has done something that has hurt you. Instead of focusing on forgiving and forgetting for other people’s sake, we should put more effort into forgiving because we need it. Forgiveness is about ourselves because letting others live rent-free in your head doesn’t do you any good. Giving someone who hurt you the power to constantly make you upset because of what they have done can be exhausting. Instead of forgetting, take the injustice and learn from it. Maybe you’ll distance yourself from the person who hurt you. This injustice helps teach you a lesson. You’ll be more cautious in the future. Forgive because you deserve to have a clear head, not because the other person is begging for forgiveness.
Honor Your Feelings
Dwelling on our thoughts and feelings about an unforgivable situation is common. It can become too much, however, when we dwell so much that we cannot see what the present moment has to offer. Try not to fight these hard feelings. Honor and accept them. You can forgive but not give the person the same platform as before. Honoring your feelings is about letting them guide you to a better place. Learn from these feelings. Keep these feelings. But, don’t let them overwhelm you to the point where you cannot move forward.
Forgiveness with yourself can come into play when you are in recovery from substance use. You may have been working on your sobriety, but have stumbled a bit and relapsed. You are going to be feeling a plethora of emotions. You’ll probably be angry, disappointed, and ashamed. You’re allowed to acknowledge these feelings. However, you must allow yourself to let go and forgive yourself. If you don’t allow yourself forgiveness, you’ll never be able to move forward. Let this experience of relapse help motivate you to do better and help to transform your life.
The Arbor Behavioral Healthcare is here to help you learn to harness the power of forgiveness in your recovery. Call us today at (844) 413-2690. We can’t wait to speak with you!