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How Can I Resolve a Disagreement?

woman works on positive self-talk

No one is perfect. We have all made mistakes and done things we aren’t proud of. Most of the time, these mistakes are harmless. However, there are times when we have done something wrong that has a larger impact on those around you. You could have hurt the person’s feelings and, even though you apologize, that doesn’t resolve the pain you’ve caused right away. It’s important to know how to resolve a situation like this in your recovery so that you are able to mend your relationships and forgive yourself so that you can move on.

Forgive Yourself

Before you expect anyone else to forgive you, you must forgive yourself. It can be a difficult thing to come to terms with a mistake you’ve made that has hurt someone you love. You may still feel bad about the situation. You can’t change the past, however. You must be able to learn from your mistakes, truly apologize, and move forward. Focusing on who you were in the past isn’t healthy when you are a changed person in the present. Allow yourself to forgive yourself and focus on being a better, kinder person in the present moment.

Practice Understanding

When someone tells you that you hurt them, you don’t get to tell them you didn’t. You cannot and should not control someone else’s emotions and feelings. Instead, try to understand where the other person is coming from. Disagreements are going to happen when you are in recovery. You might be practicing sobriety, but a friend may not be. If you make a comment that hurts a friend because you may be judging their choices, they have the right to be upset. Instead of explaining your side, practice understanding, and truly listen to what your friend is saying.


Once you have listened to your friend, apologize. This means acknowledging your mistakes, apologizing for them, and vowing to do better in the future. It’s important to not rush the other person to accept your apology. That will only create future problems. If you and your friend need time away from each other for a bit, let it happen naturally. Things will work out.

Let Go of Grudges

If you are struggling with overcoming a disagreement, try to let go of any grudges that you hold. You can hold a grudge with yourself just as much as you might hold a grudge with someone else. Holding onto grudges only further increases the tension. Let go of what is holding you back and allow yourself to live in the present.

The Arbor Behavioral Healthcare is here to help you solve disagreements that you have in your recovery. We don’t want these disagreements to hold you back. Call today for more information about our programs at (844) 413-2690!