Some people need extra support than others. This can be the case with people who are dealing with great amounts of trauma. Although their wounds may not be visible, they are there. They may throw on a smile, but there is still pain. If someone you love has experienced trauma, it’s important to know how to handle their feelings in a kind and helpful way, as well as knowing what they need from you. Read on to learn more about how you can help support a trauma victim.
Many people don’t like surprises, even if they haven’t dealt with trauma. This is even more so the case with people who are still processing trauma. Victims feel safe when they are aware of what is coming. Try not to surprise them with things that could trigger them, even if you mean well. Predictability is key!
Give Them Space and Let Them Rest
Someone that has recently dealt with trauma may feel overwhelmed. They want to calm their nerves and sometimes the only way they can do this is to be alone and let them rest. They want to return to “normal,” so try not to overwhelm them with anything large. If they want space, give it to them. If they want to rest, let them rest. If they want you there, just be with them. This isn’t the time to schedule activities. Just let them know you are there for them and what they need.
Trauma can bring out things in people that they would rather remain hidden. This can mean taking out frustration and anxiety on other people. If your loved one is lashing out, try to have some perspective. They aren’t trying to hurt you or be mean, they have just dealt with a lot of pain recently that they don’t know how to go about it. Don’t take things personally. Know that this too shall pass.
Watch What You Say and How You Say It
Try not to label what they are going through. Don’t tell them their trauma is an issue or problem. Don’t tell them they brought on their trauma through their actions. Even if you have all the right intentions, things can still be said the wrong way. Watch not only what you say, but how you say it.
Most of the time, when someone has experienced a trauma, they just want their loved ones’ support. Show them love, compassion, and patience. Love them like you always would.
Your loved one probably doesn’t want to talk about all of the details of their recent trauma. Try to give them the control over what to talk about. Try not to overwhelm them by asking a lot of questions. Have a bit of control and put the ball in their court.
Take Care of Yourself, Too
You need self-care, too. Set boundaries in the relationship and stick to them. Allow yourself space if you feel overwhelmed. Don’t try to fix them, just show you that you love and respect them.
Arbor Behavioral Healthcare is here to help you throughout the process of loving someone who has experienced trauma. Call now for more information at (844) 413-2690. We want to help you. Call now.