We all could benefit from being a little kinder to ourselves. We can kick ourselves while we are down and wonder why we aren’t feeling our best. It’s time we learn that we aren’t perfect and never will be. It’s important to learn to forgive yourself. Continue reading to learn more about forgiveness with yourself!
“We are all used to harboring feelings of self-condemnation or self-blame,” says Claire Munnings, author of “Take it easy on yourself” for In The Moment magazine. “And this is particularly true if you tend to overthink things, dissecting your social interactions, decisions, and reactions in detail.” Would we do this to those that we love? Would we overthink their every move, dissect their social interactions, decisions, and reactions in detail? More often than not, the answer is no. So, why do we do this to ourselves?
Kinder to Others?
Author Cheryl Rickman says, “Our inbuilt survival instinct, as humans, wants us to do well and have others see us doing well, so our tendency to give ourselves a hard time when we get things wrong is natural.” She continues to say that, “We are, by default, kinder to others than we are to ourselves and tend to be our own harshest critic.” Why is this the case? Well, way back when, when we were hunters and gatherers scavenging for food, it was literally adapt or die. So, if we made a mistake, it was much more crucial. Sometimes the difference between life or death was one small decision, so we had to be hard on ourselves. But this just isn’t the case anymore. However, we still often are way too hard on ourselves because we think that we may be outcast from our peers if we do something that they don’t like. Thus, we’re extra hard on ourselves.
Are We Enough?
Life coach Nicky Clinch states, “One of the most common causes of struggle in the human condition is the belief that we are not enough,” she says. “To forgive ourselves we have to be loving, patient and compassionate with ourselves, and therefore believe we are worthy of receiving these things.” It’s not surprising that holding onto blame and guilt brings us down. To forgive ourselves, we must learn to let these things go. “Dwelling on things can leave us stewing with resentment, blame, and anger and this can cause real struggle and suffer,” says Clinch. Instead of engaging in unhealthy coping mechanisms like drugs, alcohol, overeating, or self-harm, you must learn to handle your emotions in a healthy way and forgive yourself because no one is perfect.
Here at Arbor Behavioral Healthcare, we know that no one is perfect. We can help you be your best self, though. Call us today at 844-413-2690. We can’t wait to speak with you!