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How Can I Make Actual Changes To Forgive Myself?

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Forgiveness is difficult, we know this. In our previous article, we came to the conclusion that no one is perfect. In this article, we will talk more about forgiveness and how you can make actual changes to be kinder to yourself and forgive yourself. Continue reading for all the tips!  

What Changes Can We Make to Be Kinder to Ourselves and Forgive Ourselves?

Self-compassion and forgiveness are hard. We can make it a bit easier, though. The first thing we can do is to recognize and accept that we will make mistakes. Knowing that mistakes happen is difficult, but accepting that we will make mistakes takes us to another level. At the level, you must truly believe that through mistakes is how growth happens. We develop our skills by learning from our mistakes. The downs are part of us just as much as the ups are. Without mistakes, we’d never grow. Next, consider what you have learned from your mistakes. Try not to overthink your mistakes, but learn from them. Use your misstep as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and for growth.  


Reflecting on your good and bad decisions is a necessary step toward forgiveness. Really, there are no “bad” decisions, only ones you learn from. Once you take knowledge from these poorer decisions, you’ll be one step closer to forgiveness. With self-reflection becomes self-forgiveness. Confront your feelings head-on and label your thoughts and feelings. This will help you see your thoughts as separate entities from you, not a part of you. Remember: you are not your thoughts. You are what you do with your thoughts. Lastly, understanding the control you have is important to forgiveness. You can control your goals, effort, and behavior. You can’t control other’s goals, effort, and behavior, though. Realizing and truly accepting this is a great step toward forgiving yourself for things out of your control.   

“Begin Your Own Forgiveness Ritual”

Nicky Clinch, a life coach, gives five tips you can use to create a ritual for self-forgiveness. Check them out:

  • “Be honest”
  • “Identify what you could have changed”
  • “Recognize that you have more knowledge”
  • “See what you have learned”
  • “Let yourself forgive”

By using these tips, you are giving yourself the space to forgive yourself for not being perfect. Adapt this ritual to help you and your goals. You’ve got this!  

Arbor Behavioral Healthcare is here to help you throughout your recovery journey. This includes learning to love and accept yourself for imperfections and learning to forgive yourself for your mistakes. Call us today at 844-413-2690. We can’t wait to hear from you!