We all have significant relationships. From professional work relationships to friendships to acquaintances, we must navigate the space we share with others. This is especially true when it comes to those in recovery. You are going to have relationships with your partner, your friends, and your therapist. You also have an important — perhaps the most important — relationship with yourself. Recovery is a space where you spend a lot of time alone. You must learn to think and act differently. It’s essential that you can be kind to yourself but also know when to push yourself. “Noticing how your actions, decisions, and choices reflect your expectations is the first step to understanding if you’re being too tough on yourself,” says Natalie Lue for In The Moment magazine. Continue reading to learn more about how you can nurture your relationship with yourself throughout your recovery.

“You’re so used to pushing yourself that you don’t realize you’re expecting too much.”

This is something many of us may struggle with when we are feeling the depths of depression or struggling to stay on track in our recovery. You may be in a stretch of pushing yourself so hard that you don’t realize that you may need to let up and let yourself breathe. The expectations we set for ourselves in our recovery must be realistic and attainable. You can’t expect yourself to achieve your long-term goals in a week or two. You must give yourself a break and know that mistakes happen, but you will reach your goals in due time. 

It’s not about just getting over it

Many of us have dealt with traumatic events that have led us to use substances to cope with our feelings. When you’re in recovery, it isn’t about just getting over the substances. It’s about working through the traumatic thoughts and feelings you’re dealing with that led you to use in the first place. Instead of trying to push yourself through a tough time, ask yourself if you are pushing yourself unnecessarily hard when you should be giving yourself a break. Here is a question from Lue that you can ask yourself: 

“Am I being fair and reasonable in expecting this of myself or expecting me to do this without impacting my emotional, mental, and physical wellbeing?”

If the answer to this question is more often than not a “no,” then it’s time to step back and reassess where you are at with yourself. Having a good relationship with yourself means that you can trust yourself and know when to push and when to let up. It means knowing that you can put your needs before the needs of others when you are in a tight spot. It’s treating yourself with kindness and respect, instead of just trying to get over it as quickly as possible.

Arbor Behavioral Healthcare is here to help you build up your relationship with yourself. We can help you on your recovery journey. Call us today at 844-413-2690. We can’t wait to speak with you!